Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you!

After you bring a fresh bag of fruit home from the grocery store, you might find an apple with one bite out of it or a partially peeled banana on the countertop. When a child excitedly takes a bite out of something, abandons it, asks for something new and is denied that new thing, it often ends in tears. The bite that was taken acts as a seal of ownership, and a new thing cannot be given until the old is eaten.

God brought you into his family of believers from the unbelieving world. God did this because he loves you as his own child and did not want you abandoned wandering through life hopeless until death ushers you into eternal suffering in hell. God does not want you to return to the unbelieving world as we hear a few verses before our New Testament reading in Ephesians 4:

17 So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18 They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.

When Paul wrote to the Ephesians, he addressed the temptation to return to life as an unbeliever, a life of futility, darkness, ignorance, hardheartedness and separation from God. Paul continued with three reminders of what they were taught in Christ, 22 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. All of God’s people share in what Paul reminded the Ephesians. Like dirty clothes, we take off the old corrupt desires, we are being made into something new and better, and we put on clothes as clean as Christ’s righteousness and holiness. God made us this new creation to live differently as we wait in this world to go home to heaven.

We stress our relationship with God when we speak unwholesome, malicious words. In our New Testament reading from Ephesians 4, Paul wrote:

29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

You have options when it comes to how you speak; there are helpful words and there are unwholesome words.

Your choice in what you say reveals what is in your heart. God chose to bless the human race with language, and he uses it to build his church as we hear earlier in Ephesians 4, 11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up. These different positions speak the Word of God, and through his Word God accomplishes great things. But we have not used helpful words to build up. We have spoken unwholesome words, and grieved or stressed and irritated the Holy Spirit who lives in us maintaining our faith connection with God. Paul went on with his warning, 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. So often we do not respond as the God’s new creation, but with the old futility, darkness, ignorance and hardheartedness as if we never knew God. It’s like when you are at the grocery store and you know you have too much left to fit in one grocery bag, but you stick with your old way of stuffing it all into one bag. Then you get home and halfway to the fridge, one of the handles breaks, but you do not set the bag down. Instead, you move faster which adds more stress on the remaining handle, threatening and almost always resulting in the complete separation of the second handle sending all the fragile, sticky, messy contents of your bag all over the floor.

Jesus addressed the messes we make with our words giving an example of responding with unwholesome, malice rather than gracious forgiveness with a parable in our Gospel reading from Matthew 18. Jesus spoke of a servant who was unable to repay a massive debt to his king. So, the king was going to sell him, his family and all he had into slavery to cover the cost, but the servant begged for the king’s patience and promised to repay the debt, and surprisingly the king responded by canceling the entire debt. Then, that servant found another servant who owed him the equivalent of a few month’s paychecks, and the servant begged for his patience and promised to pay him back, but unlike the king, the servant had the man thrown in prison until he could pay his debt. Others saw what happened and told the king.

32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

You have been forgiven a debt you cannot pay by your King, Jesus. When you speak unwholesome, malicious words, and withhold forgiveness, you take Jesus for granted and grieve the Holy Spirit. Torture in prison waits for those whose hearts harden against others and forget the love God has shown all of us in Jesus.

Our hearts sink in the memories of words we regret speaking, until Christ. Christ means the chosen one. When you were in the darkness as unbeliever, and when you have returned to it grieving the Holy Spirit, Christ spoke on your behalf. When you feel beyond bailing out, we hear in Ephesians 5, 2 … Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Christ’s love for you came alive in his action. God took on flesh to speak the good words you often fail to speak. Jesus forgave, when we would have maliciously held a grudge and taken our revenge. He changed your future by standing in the disappointment and wrath of God for your sins. He died for you and was buried. There is no more judgment for you because Jesus endured it all on the cross. And in his resurrection, you are declared good, righteous and worthy of heaven. You are called a child of your Father in heaven. You are forgiven for Jesus’ sake. You are sealed with the Holy Spirit as you wait for heaven. The full strength of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit has brought you to walk in the way of his love.

Walk through life as Jesus speaking words of forgiveness. Paul’s encouragement to the Ephesians in chapter 5 remains true for you, 1 Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. Paul encouraged the Ephesians to walk in the way of love as Christ did. It was not an encouragement to rise to the occasion, but reminder to be who they had become in Christ. The same is true for you. So, speak to one another with the opposite of unwholesome, malicious words, and speak words of forgiveness. Pull from the endless reservoir of grace, the forgiveness won at the cross, and share it. Do not take other’s words personally but transfer the pain to Christ. Then respond from his love. This is what Paul was driving at in Ephesians 4, speak 29 … only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Before you speak run through this list: is this beneficial, is this acceptable, have I understood what someone said and what does someone need to hear.

We get a real-life example of this in our Old Testament reading from Genesis 50 where we pick up with a man named Joseph. Years before, his brothers had been jealous of him as their father’s favorite son, so they faked his death lying to their father and sold their brother into slavery. Ending up in Egypt, his time in slavery was a mix of rising to a position of honor, prison time and then serving as Pharaoh’s right-hand man during a severe famine, which eventually brought his whole family with all his brothers and father to Egypt. Then, their father died, and here we pick up in Genesis 50, 15 When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” The brothers hatched a plan to guilt Joseph into forgiving them, but it was not needed. Instead,

19 … Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

Joseph forgave his brothers because he saw their situation through God’s eyes, not his own. When someone sins against you, see them through God’s eyes.

Taking a bite out of a piece of fruit is a seal of ownership. Jesus did not take a piece, but took your whole life of sin away from you, applied it to himself and sacrificed his life on the cross. He earned the right to say, “You are forgiven.” God has sealed you with the Holy Spirit giving you faith in Jesus. You are as his redeemed children and members of his heavenly kingdom. He encourages you not to speaking unwholesome, unhelpful and angry words, but to walk in the way of love, to be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Amen.