October 6, 2024
Pastor John Hering
Ephesians 5:21-6:4
Ephesians 5:21-6:4
18Be filled with the Spirit…. by submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he himself is the Savior. 24 Moreover, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, in the same way as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, by cleansing her with the washing of water in connection with the Word. 27 He did this so that he could present her to himself as a glorious church, having no stain or wrinkle or any such thing, but so that she would be holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands have an obligation to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 To be sure, no one has ever hated his own body, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 In any case, each one of you also is to love his wife as himself, and each wife is to respect her husband.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live a long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
I would think most of you have a decorative sign or plaque hanging above the front door of your house. What does it say? “This is our Happy Place!” or “Welcome To Our Home.” Or “Home Sweet Home.” Or “Live! Love! Laugh!” And who is living in your home? Is everyone happy? Or is there too much clutter? Is everyone welcome? Or are there people in your home who don’t get along and you wish they would go? Is everyone living, loving and laughing? Then why don’t you invited more people into your home to enjoy living, loving and laughing with you? I would suspect that you’ve all had those moments when the wife was trembling in tears, or kids that were living in loneliness, or dad was raging in resentment. Are we willing to admit that the signs hanging above our front doors are more hopeful wishes than the actual condition of our family?
Today our series theme says, “Followers of Christ know how to Love Their Families.” But, we all know that family relationships can often be difficult. There are broken marriages, unfaithful spouses, abusive parents and disobedient children. Therefore it is good for us to be led by the Holy Spirit in Ephesians 5 to
Reflect Christ’s Love In Your Home
That Comes From A Firm Foundation
The chain saw in the garage wasn’t working very well. I wanted to take it to the repair shop, but that was really expensive. So, I watched a YouTube video that took by step by step through the process of repairing the chain saw. Now it works great. Don’t you wish fixing our family could be so easy? You can find plenty of advice on your computer to build healthy, happy family relationships. But, nothing that is offered to us by the world will come close to the guidance that God’s Word shares with us today. God himself reveals to us what real Christ centered love looks like in the family. It all starts with a firm foundation.
We say the same thing about a solid house, or a football team, or a great recipe. You have to start with a solid foundation. St. Paul begins by telling us what this foundation is:
“18Be filled with the Spirit…. by submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.”
This means we have already taken for granted that your family has been brought by the Holy Spirit through the Means of Grace to believe in Jesus and confess his amazing love for you. We are doing what we do because Jesus loves us so much. So, we are filled with the Spirit and Reflect Christ’s Love in Our Family from this Firm Foundation. Practically speaking we are acting from a foundation of Love! Why do you love? Some love out of obligation—because they feel like they have to. It might sound like this: “That’s my daughter, so I have to love her.” Sometimes love is conditional—you will or will not love someone depending on whether or not they deserve it. It might sound like this: “If my wife would only show me a little respect, then I will love her more.” These are NOT examples of the Foundational Love I’m talking about. Listen: “18Be filled with the Spirit…. by submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.” Being filled is something done to you. Our submitting to one another is a fruit of faith in reverence for Christ!
Before we move on let’s remember what the word “submit” means. The dictionary meaning is to comply or endure. Today the word submit has taken on a negative connotation like to concede, relinquish and kowtow. So if you ask people to submit they think they have to give up stuff they don’t want to, or that they’re not as good as someone else. That is the attitude of our sinful nature talking. But, the Bible shows us repeatedly that Christian love willingly submits our needs to the side and allows us to willingly be put under others. Jesus said,
“If anyone wants to be first, he will be the last of all and the servant of all”
Mark 9:35
So, in the Christian family the Foundation of our love come from willingly submitting to one another in reverence for Christ.
This love takes place in the hearts of Christian Families who have “reverence for Christ.” Examples of reverence for God are many. Abraham showed reverence when he was willing to sacrifice his son to God…
“Do not lay your hand on the boy. Do not do anything to him. For now I know that you fear God”
Genesis 22:12
Cornelius “….was devout and God-fearing, as was his entire family. He gave generous gifts to the poor and always prayed to God” (Acts 10:2). So how would you describe someone who was showing reverence for Christ today? First, they would look at the cross and see how much Jesus loves them. Next, let’s say there is worship of Jesus here, I would think they would be here to join us. It says in God’s Word for us to submit to one another, I would think they would not see this as restrictive but willingly serve out of thankful love for Christ and a desire to give God glory in their Christian love and lives. In our family when we submit to others, we are reflecting Christ’s love in our family. That is a love that comes from a Firm Foundation created by God and sustained by the Holy Spirit through the Means of Grace, and.
That Recognizes How to Love
After establishing where this love comes from, Paul applies the principle to three groups in the family. First (ladies first 😊 ) Paul address the wives.
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife…..”
And that’s were I’m going to stop reading because that’s all the world hears. They hear, “The husband is your master. You have to do everything he says. That’s degrading. It’s not showing equality.” If that’s all Paul was inspired to write it might rile up women and make them resentful and angry towards a chauvinistic God and their bully husbands. But, there’s more….
“22 Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he himself is the Savior. 24 Moreover, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.”
Why does the church willing submit to Jesus Christ? Because we want to be blessed by growing in faith and proclaiming the Gospel to more people. Let me use this illustration: When you have a football team that wants to win the game they follow a coach. When the coach sends in a play every person on that team willingly submits to the coach because they want to score a touchdown. Likewise, the Church submits to Jesus Christ because we want to win the game of eternal life. The game plan of our salvation was created by God the Father, God the Son played the game against the devil and won, and God the Holy Spirit proclaims the victory to the world through the Word of God. The Church willingly lines itself up to Christ because we know what Jesus did to rescue us, how much Jesus loves us, and how he has given us heaven now through faith. So, “as the church submits to Christ [to win], so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything [to win].” And don’t even begin to think “everything” includes sinful, selfish activities. Rather everything includes the activities and boundaries God established when he created man and woman and the gift of marriage and the family. “Everything” includes everything that is God-pleasing. Paul spells this out further in verse 33: “each wife is to respect her husband.” Followers of Christ recognize How To Love. They recognize that God established the roles of husband and wife. They submit [to win] themselves under the husband’s leadership because it is God’s will. It’s not because the husband is better, or because he is strong, or because he deserves such respect and love. No. Wives, submit [to win the game] out of thankful love for Jesus, Recognizing How To Love as you Reflect Christ’s love.
Next God instructs husbands. Here I also like to point out that Paul spends 3 verses to speak to the wives and he spends 8 verses speaking to husbands. I would argue, that’s because husbands need a lot more help than the wives! Amen!?!
“25 Husbands, love your wives, in the same way as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
As husbands, Followers of Christ Know How To Love Their Families. How? It says, “in the same way as Christ loved the church.” How many husbands here today are willing to “give yourself up for your wife?” Husbands, will you protect her from danger? That kind of love is easy. It’s quick and immediate. But, how did Christ love the Church?
“He gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, by cleansing her with the washing of water in connection with the Word. 27 He did this so that he could present her to himself as a glorious church, having no stain or wrinkle or any such thing, but so that she would be holy and blameless.”
You get the picture of how much Christ loves each of you unconditionally, sacrificially, selflessly, completely, perfectly, 100% every day, 24/7/365. Now, look at the faces of all the ladies here! They are smiling because they know that is not how they are loved. Not Fully. Not Constantly. Not perfectly. But, that is the love husbands, as Followers of Christ, are striving for. Listen to the example St. Paul gives:
“28 In the same way, husbands have an obligation to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 To be sure, no one has ever hated his own body, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones.”
Husbands, when you submit [to win] yourself under the needs of your wife, striving for her success and happiness, there is no room for being a dictator, tyrant or selfish. Rather it looks as Paul describes,
“31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will be one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 In any case, each one of you also is to love his wife as himself.”
This is a husband that recognizes How To Love as a Reflection of Christ’s Love In The Family. Martin Luther puts it this way, “Let a wife make her husband happy to come home. And let a husband make his wife sad, to see him leave.”
But, there’s more. Christ’s love spills over and is reflected in the relationships between parents and children.
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”
Did you notice that there is no age limit? Whether toddler, teen or adult, Followers of Christ Recognize How to Love Their Parents. God is the one who picked your parents for you and placed them over you for your good, especially your eternal good. I wish I could preach that we all had parents who pointed us to Jesus perfectly. Regardless, God did not give us parents to take all the fun out of life, embarrass us, or ruin our lives. God established the parent/child relationship to protect, provide, and bring the gospel of Jesus to us.
This is one place where we all fit. You may not be a spouse or a parent, but you are a child. And we all confess that we have not been perfect children. Whether is was a time of resenting our parent’s guidance, rebelled against their rules, harmed their good reputations with our ugly words, or thrown a temper tantrum because of our parents. Thankfully Christ Jesus perfectly obeyed his earthly parents and all of his heavenly Father’s commands in our place and died to pay for the penalty of disrespecting our parents. Therefore, out of thankful love to Jesus, submit [to win] yourself to your parents. Place yourself under their care and trust God’s promise,
“2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live a long life on the earth.”
Finally, God addresses parents. We all just heard that children are to obey their parents, but don’t think that, “You must obey just because I’m the dad!” Listen to God’s instruction to parents,
“4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
So, what would provoke children to anger? The idea behind this phrase is that children don’t know what to expect, or to live without consistent boundaries. While every child is different and may require unique discipline and training, we parents are instructed to Recognize How To Love our children by reflecting Christ’s love in our actions. There may be times that we parents will submit [to win] ourselves to our children. We will place ourselves under their needs and love them unconditionally with patience, provision and protection. Reflect Jesus’ love to your children by talking about the Bible at home and shown in your life when you drive, talk, go to activities, sit down for dinner, watch TV and say your bedtime prayers. Teach them how to prioritize their lives with Jesus 1st by faithful worship attendance as Paul wrote, “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
When you go home today, see if there is a plaque or fancy saying above the front door. Whether you are single, dating, married or raising children, Does Your Home Reflect Christ’s Love? Then look around your home to find your Bible, for that is the Firm Foundation that will inspire you. In God’s Word you will Recognize How to Love. May the Love that Jesus has for you always be Reflected in Your Home. May we also reflect that same love right here, in our Divine Peace Family! Amen!
